


Uncurable

by Impala_Cherry_Trickster



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angel Wings, Angst, Bathing/Washing, Canon Era, Druids, F/M, Hurt Merlin (Merlin), Magic Revealed, Minor Merlin/Morgana (Merlin), Oblivious Arthur, Redeemed Morgana (Merlin), Resurrection, Sickfic, dying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-28
Updated: 2020-06-28
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:00:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24960466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Impala_Cherry_Trickster/pseuds/Impala_Cherry_Trickster
Summary: Merlin knows he's dying, so he has to speed Destiny up.
Relationships: Merlin/Morgana (Merlin)
Comments: 15
Kudos: 191





	Uncurable

When Merlin came to the conclusion that he was dying, it was less terrifying than one might expect from such a revelation. To be fair, he’d had a long time to accept it, the symptoms had taken time to creep up. It started simple, with mild spells of dizziness that left him confused, occasional nosebleeds that he managed to hide. His body felt tired in a way he hadn't expected, losing the taste for eating much in fear of throwing up.

Logically, Merlin knew he should tell Gaius. But the Warlock knew enough about medicine and healing to know that what was wrong with him ran deeper than what herbs could heal. When he figured out that it would probably end with his death, he decided it was time to visit the Druids.

They had bowed to him as he moved into the Camp, and Merlin had ignored it for once. Looked to their Leader, and asked why he was dying when his Destiny was not complete. The cryptic responses had been expected, but the ideas that came from the talk would affect Camelot’s future.

_‘Maybe Destiny decided that you had to hurry, Emrys.’_

**

Morgana Pendragon took a leap of faith, and Merlin was thankful for it. He’d poisoned her, ruined their friendship and abandoned her when she needed him most, but revealing his Magic was just the first step. He saved her from imprisonment, healed her mind and cared for her, not rising to her challenges and hatred. It was worth it, to see the steady improvement. Worth facing the stocks and Arthur’s insults when he was late for work, after spending the night telling her Arthur would be the greatest King Camelot had ever seen.

When she finally was ready, Merlin led the Knights into the forest, arranged the meeting between them. Watched as Arthur finally embraced his sobbing sister, and Merlin smiled so brightly that he stumbled, his mind going slightly foggy.

He was stabilised by Gwaine, who looked down in concern.

Merlin was fine.

**

Dying was not a happy thing. Merlin rose from the bed slowly, stretching out each of his rotting limbs and listened to the joints pop. A hand rose to the skin beneath his nose, found it once again bleeding. He wiped it away, muttered a healing spell that would take away the ache in his temple for a short period.

Today, Magic became legal in Camelot. He would be there to see Morgana appointed as Court Sorcerer, even if she had begged Merlin to tell Arthur the truth. Even if the Knights of the Round Table had all figured it out, and Arthur was the only one Merlin didn’t dare admit the secret to.

After all, Merlin wasn’t entirely sure he was going to live very long. He dressed slowly, found that his hands shook if he tried to go too quickly. It meant he woke up earlier than normal, just so that he could make it to Arthur’s room in time to serve him breakfast. He had to hurry though, first to wake the King, then to the training grounds to get the weapons ready for practice.

When his knees buckled, he’d been expecting it. Nausea threatened to overturn his stomach, his head spinning as he tried to control his breathing.

He was alright.

**

Morgana was beginning to suspect something. He could tell, her gaze followed him for longer periods of time, she would check in on him throughout the day. Merlin spent most of his time avoiding his duties, sitting out on the ramparts and letting the sun warm his body, for it seemed to get far too cold when he was inside.

He made an effort to visit Aithusa more often, to teach the little hatchling how to survive without him by his side.

Arthur had not yet noticed, which meant that he was doing an okay job.

Until he revealed his Magic in the most foolish of ways, by warming the bathwater so that Arthur could relax. The King had dismissed him for two days, before inviting Merlin back and apologising for being so hasty.

**

When Arthur found out about Emrys, his first instinct was to look to his sister. Merlin sighed, glaring at the Druid in front of him that had dared to spill the secret.

‘Not I, brother.’ Arthur looked startled, staring at Merlin like he had grown three heads. The Warlock didn’t bother denying it, he was far too tired to get into an argument with the King of Camelot over something so trivial. It didn’t matter that he was Emrys, he’d completed his destiny. He was running on borrowed time, his Magic the only thing that didn’t hurt him anymore.

The King wanted to see a display of power, but Merlin was far too weak to ride for long enough to get them to a clearing, so he merely stated that his Magic only usually came in dangerous situations.

**

‘I’m dying.’ He admitted, and Morgana stayed silent. She reached for his hand, winced when she felt how cold his skin was. He could tell, he studied her curiously, and the Witch tried to stop the tears.

‘You can’t be. We’ll fine a cure.’ Merlin wondered when they had become such good friends. When he’d give up the world for her, just to see her happy. She would be fine in Camelot, Arthur would keep her safe, and Merlin felt like he might have finally done something correctly. This had to be what Destiny wanted, for the Pendragon siblings to unite Magic together.

‘I don’t think it’s curable.’ He whispered, looking back out across Camelot.

**

‘Come on, that’s it.’ Morgana helped him to the bath, ignoring the eyes of the King on her back. Merlin couldn’t even raise his head, did nothing but slump down into the hot water. He wasn’t mad that she’d told his secret to the group, that they now hovered around him like moths drawn to a flame. They each assured him there would be a cure to his sickness, but Merlin already knew better. As did Gaius, which was why he was no longer in the room. Unable to look at Merlin, and the Warlock sighed.

‘I think it might be tomorrow.’ He admitted to her, watched her fingers move to his nose, pulling away red. She washed her hand quickly, trying not to let him see the tremble.

‘Don’t speak like that.’

‘Keep Arthur safe.’ He didn’t care that the King was in the room, he just needed Morgana to know. The High Priestess was crying, silent tears tracking down her cheeks.

‘Do it yourself.’ She pleaded, but Merlin just decided he needed a nap.

**

The grass spread out under his fingers, Merlin sighing as he leant back and let the sun hit him. For once, the ache in his body was almost bearable, he felt like this was the point of peace. Morgana was by his side, reached to take his hand and linked their fingers together.

‘What does that cloud look like?’ She asked quietly, and Merlin peered up. It looked rather like a cow, which he told her, and the woman laughed. She then propped herself up and began to read to him, a book about mythical creatures and their properties. Of all of them, Merlin adored the idea of the Phoenix, dying to be reborn. He wished that was the case for him, because he really didn’t want to leave anymore.

Not when he almost had everything.

‘Are you scared?’ She whispered once they had finished talking, and Merlin paused.

‘Not anymore. Just… stay.’ The woman beamed down at him, even if her eyes were flooded with tears. She bent down to kiss his forehead, and Merlin had a moment in which everything seemed perfect.

Then he looked back to the sky, and realised that it was rather bright. Bright enough that he felt the heat down to his core, and he relaxed back, let out a deep sigh.

**

Morgana watched him breathe out, waited for his chest to move once more. It didn’t, and although she had been expecting it, the death brought a pain that shattered her heart. She rose slowly, found Merlin’s eyes focused on the sky, his hand still holding hers. He looked happy, she thought, trying not to make a sound as she slowly pulled her hand away, blinking back the blur of her vision.

‘Merlin?’ She waited for a reply, but none came. She’d had months to prepare for this moment, to understand he was sick and wasn’t getting better. To see him slowly lose himself, to stop running after Arthur with the same energy. To no longer tease the Knights, and chase Gwen across the meadows. To help Gaius on his rounds, strolling through Camelot like he belonged there.

‘Goodbye.’ The first step was the hardest, the second not much better. Every one was wobbly, her feet threatening to give up under her as she moved back towards the horse they had shared to ride out here. Just as she reached the saddle, fully intending to untie it and send it back to Camelot without her, to let the King know that he was needed, she felt the heat burst.

Flames engulfing his body, spooking the horse that reared up and bolted away, while Morgana dropped down to her knees and cried. The orange kept burning, slowly turning to blue flames that surrounded him, leaving Morgana with nothing to mourn. Nothing to hold, or to show Arthur, to grieve over.

When the flames stopped, her Magic bubbled up under her skin, warning her that something was happening. That she should be weary.

The spot where Merlin’s body had been was charred black, the ground split open like a chasm down below the earth. She watched, waited for something to happen, before a hand appeared.

Pale skin, chewed fingernails that dug into the grass and were stained by the ash around. Another hand, like something was crawling out from the earth, and Morgana slowly forced herself up, to stand as the person opposite her did the same.

Hair the colour of the night, with eyes that burned as the sun did. Ink that stretched under the skin, moved as the person straightened, but it wasn’t any of those things that she stared at.

Feathers. White, under the covering of soot, that slowly stretched out and cast a shadow over the land in front, to shroud her in darkness as she looked to her Warlock.

‘Merlin?’ The last time she said that name, the question had remained unanswered. This time, however, it would not. The person took a step forwards, naked as the day they were born, eyes turning back to the softest of blues.

‘Morgana?’

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly Idek where this came from


End file.
